Scratch

Neo had a fresh scratch on his face, the yaya reported when they fetched me from work. If Neo were some months old I would have my usual silly "praning" attack. I remember those times whenever his head would bang on walls, on his crib or anywhere else, I would also bang my head on the exact same spot to test if the impact really hurt him or I just wanted to inflict the same pain he had on myself. Val would just laugh at me and remark how silly/stupid I am. Later on, I somehow managed to relax. I know that this latest scratch will heal and it will be just one of the many little mishaps he will experience as he gets bigger and older.

When we celebrated his first birthday last week, I was partly sad. I felt that this milestone, although a very grand one, is the demarcation line from being a baby and becoming a boy. I miss him as a baby. I came across a poem that best describes how I feel on Neo's growing up.

My Baby Boy and Me

its 3 am they're all asleep

and no one's here to see

as we rock slowly back and forth

my baby boy and me

his little head is feather light

tucked up against my chin

i hold his tiny hand in mine

and stroke his baby skin

the house about us creaks and groans

the clock hands creep around

he snuggles closer to me still

and makes his baby sounds

i love these quiet hours so much

and cherish every one

store memories up inside my heart

for lonely nights to come

all too soon he'll be grown up

his need for mommy gone

but until then i still have time

for kisses and for songs divine

time for quiet hours like this

with him cuddled in my arms

where i wish he'd always stay

protected safe and warm

and yet i know the day will come

when this tiny little hand

will be much bigger than my own

but until then he's mine to love

with no one here to see

as we rock slowly back and forth

my baby boy and me.~ Jane Triplett ~